Here I Am Again

here I am again,
standing, kneeling. fighting, appealing.
here I am again,
waiting for the time to come; it's so slow.
waiting for the occasion when the day will go.

here I am again,
waiting for life to be innocent again.
here I am again,
waiting for the hunger to subside -
to get tired of being hungry for ugly.

here I am again
pouring over fascinating things
piquing interest into deeper somethings.
testing on this memorization,
waiting for the tallied marks, the imitation
of character, efficiency, work ethic,
but actually inductive reasoning, always inductive.
the small's a window with dark glass.

and here I am again.
seeing those things others say aren't real.
knowing them. believing them.
waiting for them to be revealed.

here I am again.
through these halls again
at this table again.
pondering life and time again.
this blank sheet always offering relief here.
this pen and that pen always offering release here.

here I am again,
casting an angry eye toward the glass, resenting it.
but no matter; its time will come
when the day will go.

here I am again.
seeing through this glass.
here I'll be again.
there I'll go again,
where dark glass cannot live
and the time comes for day to go now.