Monday, March 21, 2011

I talked to a friend tonight. He said he was sorry for always making everything about him. It meant a lot to me. See, I've been angry at him for a while now for never seeing me. I was there the whole time, and he saw me better than a lot of people did at that time in my life. But he never really saw me. He only saw himself.

I know we're supposed to forgive people regardless of their position toward us. And I know that forgiveness is not dependent on reconciliation, because forgiveness is one-sided the way covenant is one-sided. Reconciliation's a two-way street. But him acknowledging how he was makes a difference to me. It's forgiveness' catalyst and paves the way for the reconciliation road.

A little truth about the man I love: he has saved me. And I think the truth will flourish in all different colors as time goes on. I only know that there was a time in my life when I was a mess and ran from God, but he thought I was beautiful, and he thought it so hard that he brought it back to me - what it means to face God again, to love God and be loved by Him. T says that maybe someday I'll know how much he loves me.

I know another thing, everyday, he saves me from myself. Seeing him is respite and hope. When he comes home, I sing and dance - usually in fanfare manner. Then we tell Jesus we love Him and share a meal together. And eventually, skin on skin, we go to sleep.

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