Friday, June 06, 2008

all the colors of the rainbow.

Last day of the week today, and I'm whipped. My day on the floor was mixed with treasured moments and sleep. I didn't try to sleep, but powerpoints on policies and early mornings add up to sleepy afternoons.

I shaved a man's head today. He had a beautiful head of fine, brown, curly hair that was performing its last act by falling out in huge clumps from his scalp. No more. Crazy how life is, huh? Here is this head hauncho of some big corporation with a bald head and a raging infection in his lungs with no white blood cells to fight it. Struggling to breathe at times.

I guess he was crabby last night, giving the night nurse a rough time of it. I was surprised, because I've enjoyed working with him a lot. The nurse said something like, "You can tell he's in charge of a lot of things outside of here," he's flailing to grab control back. He was being really adamant about having his water by his bedside. Sometimes you have to fight for control, even if it's of your water.

I met a lady today named Tudy, and I thought that was weird. But she was nice.

His eyes were yellow, and I need to find out why. Lab hadn't done a liver function test. The liver takes care of bilirubin which is a byproduct of broken down red blood cells. Let's see... I think the liver "conjugates" it. Don't ask me what that means. I'm not saying that I know or that I don't know. I'm just telling you not to ask me. The liver turns it into bile, the stuff that makes your poop green.

So is he breaking down too many red blood cells due to fever? Does he have some sort of autoimmune thing going on? Is his liver not working? Is he just yellow because there's so little hemoglobin?

Another lady was red. I've never seen somebody so red. Graft versus host, I guess. That's what my nurse said. Sometimes when people get a bone marrow transplant, their body rejects it. They call it graft versus host. I guess it can turn your skin red and leathery. She's dying, but it sounds like she's been dying for a long time. She was just made a DNR today. Do not resuscitate.

In other news, I called the dentist yesterday. He said I have an abscess and will need a root canal or my porcelain cap is detaching and I'll need a new cap. Either way, he said I should just see a dentist here. And today, I met this lady who goes to a place where there's a bunch of dentists in an office. She said I could probably get in this week. Sweet. tooth.

Tooth is a weird word.

My shoulder is peeling. I picked rocks for eight hours in the sun one day, and I wore really good sunscreen. Except I missed a spot, and now that spot is peeling. Just one shoulder, and one spot on my shoulder. There's even a slight pale hand print where the sunscreen went.

I find myself longing so much for someone with whom I can talk about deep things in person. I miss Ruth. I just want to connect with someone, and so often, I think that the Lord isn't enough. How ridiculous. Isn't there a song about "more than enough". How slow I am.

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