Possibilities are sometimes more real to me than reality. And so in this world, where perfect possibilities and undashed dreams fail incessantly to come to pass, there is a deep, overwhelming sadness.
But I think the sadness swells from other rooms flooded with some lies.
Things proposterous like, "My sin is greater than everyone else's, so God shouldn't forgive me."
Things proposterous like, "I'm so bad, God's arm is too short to save me."
It's really a pride thing when everything unboils itself to the raw truth. "What makes you so great, kt, that you are capable of outpowering God's grace?"
Do you ever feel like God's just asking you all these questions? I feel like that lately. So often, we ask Him all the questions, but have you ever thought that perhaps He is asking you just as many questions?
"What are you going to do with this huge house I have given to you to take care of? How will you manage it? What else can I entrust you with?"
"What do you think about this topic that I have 'coincidentally' brought to your attention (Makes me chuckle to think of God using 'quotation marks')? How are you going to pan through this in your mind?"
"Are you going to rebel against me in this place?"
"Are you ready to skip a grade in this school? Can we move on to more important things?"
Oh! How I long to be faithful! And even here, this possibility is often dashed to pieces, only, His grace is real. The possibility of someone completely loving and beautiful is one that is truly fulfilled. And unity with Him will be accomplished in full one day.
Oh, That Day!