Saturday, July 12, 2008

a block party and Jesus

I woke up really sad today. Not really for a particular reason; I just had sad emotions in my blood or something.

So Heather and I went downtown and wandered around like we always do when we want something to do. We were looking for this block party where bands play, because she won a free ticket. They were $25, so I couldn't decide if it would be worth it to me. So we parked and found it. We wandered around for a minute or two wondering where the ticket booth was. It looked free. Sweet. The band was playing "La Bamba."

That's when I noticed that there was a lot of rainbow stuff around, and I was starting to get suspicious. Then, Heather saw Ken and Barbie floating in this fountain on a piece of styrofoam. "Look; it's Ken and Barbie. That's kinda cool." Then she noticed that it wasn't Ken and Barbie; it was Ken and Ken. Barbie and Barbie were on the other side.

Uh oh.

Just then, a lady walked up to us and asked us why we were laughing. Heather said, "Because it's such a good day." And the lady continued to ask us if we were interested in offering our resources to raise support for the democratic campaign. We declined politely.

So we wandered around gay pride booths and democratic politicians. I got a free banana. That was nice, cause I hadn't eaten yet.

Then we decided that we should find the block party, since that obviously wasn't it. When we found it, we decided it wasn't worth $25 dollars. So we sat in the grass for a few minutes listening. Some security guards were watching us. Later, we went back to that spot, and our section of grass was barricaded off. I guess it was too free.

We decided to go to St. Mary's where there was a piano. I played two songs I've written recently for Heather and we ate taco salad. Then we went home and took naps. I woke up feeling slightly elated. I had "Oooweeeooo, I look just like Buddy Holly; Oh oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore. I don't care what they say about us anyway; I don't care about that," in my head by Weezer. My friend Thomas and I sang that song at the top of our lungs while playing Rockband once. Maybe twice.

I also went to church today - the one with the British guy. He talked about baptism, and he forgot to talk about Romans 6, which was the scripture chosen for his sermon. So I was disappointed. But it didn't really matter, because I danced with Jesus. And remembered that this whole thing is His deal. He's the Good Shepherd. I don't have to have everything figured out. I don't have to be in extreme turmoil about life. He's got it, and He's got me.

Trusting Jesus

Simply trusting every day,
Trusting through a stormy way;
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by;
Trusting Him whate’er befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Brightly does His Spirit shine
Into this poor heart of mine;
While He leads I cannot fall;
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Singing if my way is clear,
Praying if the path be drear;
If in danger for Him call;
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

I played this song the other day when I was playing a bunch of hymns. And I thought, "What in the world does that mean? I've lost all grips on 'simply trusting'." And I thought about it all day and probably all the next. Because it seems like all of my friends are in the same place with me - suddenly finding themselves lost in this whole faith thing - toppled over by science or rationality or reality. I'm starting to think that this is what becoming an adult is...transitioning out of that period of life where it is impossible for ideality to be unattainable and figuring out if it's worth it to hang onto child-like faith. Things just aren't as simple as they used to be.

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